I haven't been here in a while. Running and I have been on a 'break'. It wasn't because of a major fight, and yes we have had a few encounters in the past months. It was a clear case of 'it's not you, it's me'. And I have to admit, I have been seeing other people. New clients, a new fitness studio (with childcare, hello), the NFL, and yes, even my family. I came up with excuses for why I couldn't keep our dates. Running never pushed the issue, and I let the flame start to die out. I guess because it knew I would be back, no matter what we always come back to each other. Running will be waiting for me with open arms my entire life.
Yesterday I went running back, and was reminded of the strong bond we have, and the importance of having running in my life. It was a last minute unplanned decision, and that made it even better. As I was packing the kids up to head to the fitness studio, Mike came home from work a little early. Since I already had the kids fed, it occurred to me that instead of hitting the gym, I should just head out the door and hit the road...alone.
And that's what I did. No watch, no Garmin, just me and my long lost love. Reunited. The cool air of fall felt amazing, and there is something to be said about road running at dusk on a busy street that makes you feel powerful. The rush of the cars going by forces you to run strong. And we all know I do better with an audience so my pace was kickin'. Or at least that's what I am telling myself, glad I didn't have my Garmin to prove me otherwise.
There is something different that happens when I run, different from any other type of exercise. And I do a lot. I am not focused on following an instructor, or lost in my form. I am just putting one foot in front of the other, and my mind starts to race. Going through everything happening in my life, sorting it out, and moving on. I get a sense of clarity that I can't explain. A motivation and fire lit inside me that can't even happen with an entire pot of coffee.
Running didn't ask me where I had been, or who I was with. It treated me the same way it always had. I felt alive again. I finished strong, ready to tackle my life, knowing I had my buddy back.
I realized too, that in order to show my gratitude, I needed to recommit. I bought new shoes, new socks, some cold weather running clothes, and committed to another marathon. I need running to know I am serious about our relationship, and promise not to leave for that long again.