Hi. My name is Angela Kraber, and am in a funk. Hi Angela.
First off, let me apologize to you, all 11 of you, my faithful followers. I know you have been waiting for the next installment of my marathon saga...and I promise it is coming. This post will explain it's delay...
For the past week and a half I have been blah. Not angry, not really upset about anything, not mad...just blah. For those of you that don't know me, blah really isn't my thing. It's normal for me to lose everything under the sun, but my mojo?? I usually have that pretty well intact. But nope, for this past week it has been completely gone. I sat down a dozen different times to get out the story of the marathon, that in my head just days before was so perfect, and I got nothin'. So I just decided to wait. The thoughts would come back, the inspiration would once again appear, and I would be brilliant. Well at least my mom would think it was brilliant.
Then last night, I got terrible news about a dear lifelong family friend that had died. I broke down, and then I shut down. I couldn't understand it, I couldn't explain it, and at one point I didn't even understand the words coming out of my mouth as I talked to Mike about it. I went for a walk around the block, and then spent the next few hours, well into the night, just staring at the TV.
Today,as I went through the motions of my day, I was shut off. I put the kids down for a nap and I just sat on the couch. I didn't know if I was hungry, or thirsty, or if I should do laundry, or work. I just spaced out, again, and stared. Now I know that I am still upset about the awful news, but this was a funk in the works already...this is just what pushed me over the edge.
After a text from skinny Sandra about her great run this morning, I got up, poured a glass of iced tea, and the little light bulb in my head went off. Now, I knew deep down what was going on, but I wanted to avoid it. I know how I act when I am not running...hence I run a lot! The light bulb came when I pictured what I would say to Sandra if she were sitting on the couch feeling unmotivated and blah. I would tell her to 'suck it up Bredek, put your big girl panties on, and do something!' Motivation and inspiration shouldn't have to always come to you and find you when you need them. Sometimes you need to take the first step, get things going, and make inspiration and motivation on your own.
It really was just that simple. I needed to get moving, to get my blood pumping, and get a good sweat on just for me! I need to run dammit!!! I just needed to do it! I don't accept excuses from any of my clients...so I am not about to be the exception to my own rule.
So tonight, I put the girls down early- they were honestly running around like crazy- and I got out my Mama Wants Her Body Back Advanced DVD, and knocked it out. It was hard, but it felt great.
Now I am sitting with my mojo, having a glass of wine, about to check out raceplace.com to find my next race. My calendar is out and I am planning MY workouts.
Good-bye to my blahs...oh, hi there motivation and inspiration. How nice of you to join us!