Friday, February 17, 2012

You're on your own kid

Oh this whole poor second child syndrome is starting to hit a little too close to home. To be fair, I am a second child, and although I had a lot of complaints about what that meant growing up, it was all made ok by the fact that my parents just like me more than they like my brother. Ok, so I probably just made that up. I am prettier than him though, so that should count for some type of favoritism. Right?

I read a friend's blog recently about what her daughter is up to these days at 18 months and it was so adorable. She truly is a remarkable little girl, and it got me thinking. Hmmmmm, she is 18 months old, and out of this long list I'm not sure my almost 3 year old can do any of those things. Oops.

Poor Emma. With Meadow, I was ON IT! I read every book, knew every milestone she was going to be hitting, had her on track, practiced words, and read stories. It was exciting seeing what she would do or say next. Paying attention to the order her teeth came in, and what hand she was favoring when playing with toys. Where did we stand with Emma? Do I even know how many words she knows? She knows a lot, and speaks sarcasm fluently at such a young age. But where did she stack up with what she SHOULD be doing according to all the scales and measures I used with Meadow. Pretty sure I gave all those helpful books away....

So I went off my friends list:

She goes on the big girl potty, at 18 months. Emma, who will be 3 in April, accidentally peed on the potty once, a few weeks ago. Apparently the big potty dance parade that Mike, Meadow, and I gave her did nothing to encourage her to keep it up.

She can spell her name- Oh I think Emma can do this. We spell it all the time with Meadow. So I asked her to spell her name. EEEEE (yes!) MMMMMMM (phew, she's got it) Q.(shit) Ok, so maybe we need to practice that. Got it.

Ok, I know not to compare my kids to anyone else, so I am going to stop it right now. Plus I don't want to feel like any more of a failure mom so I'm moving on.

It's funny that I just naturally assumed that Emma would do everything faster being the second child. You hear constantly that they always want to follow what the older one does so it's so easy. Not in our case. I think Emma looks at Meadow and tries to do the opposite. Yup. She's already starting to be a little rebel. I blame Mike for the most part. :)

Emma still just looks like such a baby...and she is my last. So maybe I am holding out on having her grow up so I can still savor al the baby moments. Like if I can hold her back from growing up now, I can do the same at any stage in her life.

But, as sweet as that sounds, I think I'm honestly just lazy. I am busier, life is more complicated, and I am resorting to constantly reminding myself of my mom's advice, they all get spit out the other end. And that my life isn't going to end if Emma isn't potty trained by 3, that if it takes her a little longer to recognize her name, eventually she will. That the joy of being a mom is that she really WILL always be my baby, no matter how old she gets. That she and Meadow, although similar in a lot of ways, are so completely different that there is NO WAY you could compare them on any level.

So with that, I will continue to let it go. And hey, in the meantime make a few moms feel a little better about their kids’ progression through this stage of life. ;)

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